WHEN THE NEWS IS TOO MUCH.

FertilityTesting

Jan 8

Written By Nicole Lange

Minneapolis Bob Dylan Mural downtown with the quote, "the times they are a-changin'"

In the wake of another Minneapolis tragedy it's easy to focus on the disconnect, the polarization, the hate, the ‘othering’ and feel overwhelmed.

I hear people talking about when it's time to leave. Where they'd go, what countries would take them.

But I come back to what feels right for me.

The Mr. Roger's quote about looking for helpers. How my neighborhood actually feels despite how it's being shown (again) on the news.

The surreal “both together” of what the world is right now.

The community, friends, and teachers my kids are enmeshed with in Mpls public schools and the work that staff are doing despite the odds.

This poem by Nikita Gill about everything being on fire… and still trying to make life beautiful.

And how George Floyd's death taught me to live. "That ally is an action word."

And a… maybe conservative impulse... and why shouldn't this be okay to say!? That when the going gets tough you don't leave. You work harder.

I don’t think that’s really a conservative value. But somewhere inside me it feels like a conservative value I could be (am!?) proud of. And that means something, because my parents raised me that way... and although we see the world through very different lenses I’m grateful to them.

They taught me to prioritize love and connection with people I don’t agree with.

Because love and connection are so much more powerful. Because, as Martin Luther King Jr said, “only light can drive out darkness,” and because that's how we keep moving forward and towards an end that keeps this country ‘for the people’ in a moment where that might not be the obvious outcome.

Also…

Because of how it lands in my nervous system.

Because of how I see myself and how I want my kids to see themselves.

Because it's in service to being skillful and nuanced and human.

Because it’s kind.

Maybe that's it. Maybe there's no big post here.

Maybe it's just this list I need to rattle off tonight.

I hope this means something to you.

And if you want more concrete ideas…

Here's some of the things I'm DOING. Looking for the helpers. Connecting and checking in with my friends and family. Letting my friends and families messages land in my heart. Having dinner as a family and talking about all this. Listening to my kids. Buying supplies to make 1,000 ear seed kits in multiple languages to use my unique skills in this moment. Volunteering to teach self-care for activists this weekend. Lining up delivery options for Mark and the kids tomorrow while I'm supporting an IVF. Being present for the miracle that is an IVF. Being present with my dog snoring and my keys clicking as I rattle off this post. Choosing love. Choosing regulation. Choosing connection. Knowing the immense and totally random and ridiculous amount of privilege it is to feel those choices as easily as I do.

That's it for tonight. In love and solidarity

Nicole