Close your eyes.
Wait - that doesn’t work while reading. Okay keep ‘em open, but think back. Back to those first days of trying. The days well before infertility happened. Think about what you pictured motherhood being. Sure, you may not have been 100% certain - I mean, who actually is - but do you see that smiling fabulous woman? Maybe she’s leaning into her beaming and supportive partner? Do you see that bouncing bundle of amazing-ness that you can’t believe is yours? Can you see the love radiating? The joy and health? How about that deliciously cute, (and slightly terrifying) awesome little being? Sleep deprivation never looked so good!
But these days, that dream can make you cry. It can also make you mad, anxious, obsessive and guarded too. It’s okay, I promise you all those feelings are normal. Because [spoiler alert] infertility is a brutal roller coaster of hope and despair. You choke down pills, eat weird foods, get poked and prodded, rush in late for work, mess with your hormones, lose your mind, lose sleep, cry in bathrooms, fight with your partner, Google at ungodly hours ... the list goes on and on. And after a while the vision of the happy mom with the amazing baby can seem like a cruel joke or an exercise in ignorance.
It’s scary how easy it is to forget that this is a legitimate medical condition that affects 1 out of 8 couples, and is not a personal failure. Can you say it out loud to yourself? "THIS IS A MEDICAL CONDITION AND NOT A PERSONAL FAILURE!" You are an amazing human being going through an incredibly hard, misunderstood, isolating and expensive medical crisis. While I promise you there is not a magic pill or herb or sex move that makes this go away (oh, how I wish there were), there are amazing options using science, resources and support that can help you have a baby - and there’s also so much more!
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The Baby You Want is about the billions of tiny choices that add up to moving you closer towards, or further away from, the future you want.
And I mean the future you really want.
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At the end of the day, the baby you want deep in your heart is not merely a baby with your DNA from your own uterus - although that does sound dreamy. It’s SO MUCH MORE. It’s the whole life you imagined. The baby you really want needs YOU to be healthy, abundant, complete, resilient, strong, connected, loving and loved, joyful, balanced and (let’s just say it) kick-ass. Because if you aren’t, they can’t be either. That is what The Baby You Want is about. Those billions of tiny choices that all add up, for better or for worse.
I know this sucks, and it isn’t one bit fair. I’m sorry you’re here. But I vote for the for better route, and we absolutely can do this together! It’d be my honor and pleasure. Let me know if you’re ready.